Random LW-parodying Statement Generator

59 points

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Sep 11, 2012

So, I were looking at this, and then suddenly this thing happened.

EDIT:

New version! I updated the link above to it as well. Added LOADS and LOADS of new content, although I'm not entirely sure if it's actually more fun (my guess is there's more total fun due to varity, but that it's more diluted).

I ended up working on this basically the entire day to day, and implemented practically all my ideas I have so far, except for some grammar issues that'd require disproportionately much work. So unless there are loads of suggestions or my brain comes up with lots of new ideas over the next few days, this may be the last version in a while and I may call it beta and ask for spell-check. Still alpha as of writing this thou.

Since there were some close calls already, I'll restate this explicitly: I'd be easier for everyone if there weren't any forks for at least a few more days, even ones just for spell-checking. After that/I move this to beta feel more than free to do whatever you want.

Thanks to everyone who commented! ^_^

old Source, old version, latest source

^{Credits: http://lesswrong.com/lw/d2w/cards_against_rationality/ , http://lesswrong.com/lw/9ki/shit_rationalists_say/ , various people commenting on this article with suggestions, random people on the bay12 forums that helped me with the engine this is a descendent from ages ago.}

59 points

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62 points

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what is true is already so. Robin Hanson doesn't make it worse

OK, I'm impressed.

62 points

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6 points

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I saw this comment in Top Comments before reading the top-level post, and I thought the quote was by a human (as a reply to someone who was offended by the homo hypocritus explanation of something).

6 points

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60 points

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A cult will kill you because you are made of a million dollars that it could use for something else.

That's actually not a terrible way to put it.

60 points

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35 points

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Absence of sex is evidence of the Least Convenient Possible World.

The thing knows its audience.

35 points

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26 points

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universal death is the mind killer

sounds legit to me!

26 points

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23 points

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Well, it can already impersonate Will_Newsome, so passing the Turing test should not be that far off.

Also, some of the local big cheeses are allergic to the four-letter word starting with cu and ending with t, consider replacing.

23 points

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35 points

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everyone needs to stop being such a cunt about it.

35 points

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8 points

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You're certainly sounding curt today. How rude.

8 points

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22 points

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In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing death and a box containing Quirrellmort.

One of the few cases where it's a good idea to open a box containing death.

22 points

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Eliezer_Yudkowsky

20 points

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I want to want akrasia.

Um...

20 points

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6 points

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Expanded, that means, "I want to want to want to not want [to smoke]." (Replace bracketed term with any other akratic habit. Remember, akrasia is, loosely, when you want to not want to do something.)

I'm still trying to unwind that. Belated happy birthday btw

6 points

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20 points

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I made a non-typo'd version if anyone is interested. Here it is: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.

If anyone wants the php source code that made it, that's here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.

Because I know LW is big on meta-anything, the source code for that source code can be found here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.php.

Some choice ones:

My karma score is the unit of caring.
That which can be destroyed by paperclips should be.
The coherent extrapolated volition of humanity includes a term for getting downvoted on Less Wrong.
Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but Eliezer Yudkowsky.
What is true is already so. The chaos legion marching song doesn't make it worse.

tip: put ?n=5 at the end for 5 of them

20 points

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Dreaded_Anomaly

16 points

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Rule 34:

The coherent extrapolated volition of humanity includes a term for the set of all possible fetishes.

16 points

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7 points

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My model of you likes negging.

Nice neg.

7 points

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16 points

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Hmmm it seems we now have the technology to build an automated LessWrong poster. Merely program the bot to comment in heavy traffic threads where it sure to be noticed then after a fixed amount of time delete any comments that get less than 1 karma.

Man and machine, wisdom extreme!

16 points

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15 points

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I hereby request that the technology be named The Automated Teacher's Password Guesser, because your comment about the higher frequency of such comments was the first thing I thought of when I saw this.

15 points

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14 points

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after a fixed amount of time delete any comments that get less than 1 karma.

Of course, it's practically a solved machine learning problem to also use those comments to learn what sorts of comments get downvoted and improve the bot.

14 points

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8 points

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If someone makes a really well-optimized version of Armok's bot that pays attention to key words in comments and replies somewhat intelligently, I'll give them the Will_Newsome LessWrong account to use for that purpose.

8 points

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15 points

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The utility function of an upload of God is a god.

That is some sweet theology.

15 points

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16 points

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You are not the territory.

That is a really pithy rebuttal to solipsism. It's also what I would say to people if I were a solipsist.

The truth is the art of winning at the truth.

So Zen.

The truth is the mind killer.

So bloody Zen.

That which can be destroyed by you should be.

That's... that's a wee bit evil, isn't it?

Pinkie Pie is not a million dollars.

#trufax

16 points

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14 points

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In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing LessWrong and a box containing physics.

ouch.

14 points

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13 points

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"humanity would tile the universe with politics" is obviously false.

Not that obvious.

13 points

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13 points

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"The coherent extrapolated volition of Eliezer Yudowsky is the mind-killer."

Well crap.

13 points

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13 points

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Btw, the spelling errors were really bothering me, so I opened the JS and corrected it all. (I'd post it here, but it says "comment too long" and would probably do the same for a PM.)

Edit: I put it on pastebin for 24 hours. Thanks Vladimir_Nesov!

13 points

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13 points

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I'm an aspiring god

13 points

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12 points

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"Why did my meta-contrarianism get downvoted?"

"I'm an aspiring Eliezer Yudkowsky."

"You make a compelling argument for guessing the teacher's password."

"We have encountered aliens who communicate through the obvious schelling point."

"You can't fit a sheep into a Lukeprog's love life."

"The thirteenth virtue of rationality is my karma score."

"You have no idea how big the set of all possible fetishes is."

"An improperly-programmed AI might tile the universe with the Stanford prison experiment."

"Instrumental rationality is the art of winning at nootropics."

"The obvious schelling point is highly correlated with the least convenient possible world."

"You have no idea how big moldbuggery is. "

"The latest hot fanfic: updating and the Methods of meta-contrarianism."

"What is true is already so. negging doesn't make it worse."

Arguably better than the average LessWrong poster.

12 points

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12 points

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I would say that this makes sense about as often as the grad students in my philosophy department make sense, with only a few more spelling mistakes.

12 points

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12 points

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""utility is isomorpic to a matrochika brain" is obviusly false" is obviusly false if and only if In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the truth and a box containing counterfactual politics

I think this is actually true.

12 points

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12 points

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What is true is already so. Torture doesn't make it worse.

New pick-up line:

You are vulnerable to timeless sex.

A Kool-aidey pair:

Less Wrong is not a cult as long as our meetups don't include a death maximizer.

The forty-sixth virtue of rationality is "Always obey the guiding influence of a death maximizer".

This one's for Clippy:

Eliezer Yudkowsky is an aspiring paperclip maximizer.

What ethical injuctions are for:

Any rationalist will kill you because you are made of Friendly Artificial Intelligence that it could use for something else.

Getting rid of groupies:

The tenth virtue of rationality is "Let me not become attached to Eliezer Yudowsky I may not want"

Too late:

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include Pinkie Pie.

12 points

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RichardKennaway

11 points

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I can handle humanity, because I am already enduring it.

11 points

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11 points

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Physics is a paperclip maximizer.

Uh-oh.

11 points

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10 points

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Cards against rationality is what the least convenient possible world feels like from the inside.

Aaaand this is as meta as it could be... is it?

10 points

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RichardKennaway

9 points

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The outside view is what the Bayesian Conspiracy feels like from the inside.

9 points

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8 points

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Less Wrong is not a/an agent so long as our meetups don't include any optemization proccess!

That's an actual useful truth we ought to keep in mind. Huh.

8 points

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8 points

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that which can be destroyed by the utility function of humanity should be

Almost true by definition?

8 points

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8 points

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Less Wrong is not a cult, so long as our meetups don't include a Matrioshka brain.

I'm an aspiring human

"politics is isomorpic to politics" is obviusly false

In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing sex and a box containing the coherent extrapolated volition of Pinkie Pie

8 points

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8 points

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In the new version of Newcomb's problem, you have to choose between a box containing the truth and a box containing decision theory.

Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don't include humanity.

8 points

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6 points

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Omega updates the truth to fit its priors.

6 points

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