LESSWRONG

steven0461

Mar 22, 2009

307 comments

Eliezer Yudkowsky was once attacked by a Moebius strip. He beat it to death with the other side, non-violently.
Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but another brain.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite food is printouts of Rice's theorem.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite fighting technique is a roundhouse dustspeck to the face.
Eliezer Yudkowsky once brought peace to the Middle East from inside a freight container, through a straw.
Eliezer Yudkowsky once held up a sheet of paper and said, "A blank map does not correspond to a blank territory". It was thus that the universe was created.
If you dial Chaitin's Omega, you get Eliezer Yudkowsky on the phone.
Unless otherwise specified, Eliezer Yudkowsky knows everything that he isn't telling you.
Somewhere deep in the microtubules inside an out-of-the-way neuron somewhere in the basal ganglia of Eliezer Yudkowsky's brain, there is a little XML tag that says awesome.
Eliezer Yudkowsky is the Muhammad Ali of one-boxing.
Eliezer Yudkowsky is a 1400 year old avatar of the Aztec god Aixitl.
The game of "Go" was abbreviated from "Go Home, For You Cannot Defeat Eliezer Yudkowsky".
When Eliezer Yudkowsky gets bored, he pinches his mouth shut at the 1/3 and 2/3 points and pretends to be a General Systems Vehicle holding a conversation among itselves. On several occasions he has managed to fool bystanders.
Eliezer Yudkowsky has a swiss army knife that has folded into it a corkscrew, a pair of scissors, an instance of AIXI which Eliezer once beat at tic tac toe, an identical swiss army knife, and Douglas Hofstadter.
If I am ignorant about a phenomenon, that is not a fact about the phenomenon; it just means I am not Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for induction or deduction. He has perfected the undiluted master art of duction.
There was no ice age. Eliezer Yudkowsky just persuaded the planet to sign up for cryonics.
There is no spacetime symmetry. Eliezer Yudkowsky just sometimes holds the territory upside down, and he doesn't care.
Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for doctors. He has implemented a Universal Curing Machine in a system made out of five marbles, three pieces of plastic, and some of MacGyver's fingernail clippings.
Before Bruce Schneier goes to sleep, he scans his computer for uploaded copies of Eliezer Yudkowsky.

If you know more Eliezer Yudkowsky facts, post them in the comments.

126 points

steven0461

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PhilGoetz

130 points

If you put Eliezer Yudkowsky in a box, the rest of the universe is in a state of quantum superposition until you open it again.
Eliezer Yudkowsky can prove it's not butter.
If you say Eliezer Yudkowsky's name 3 times out loud, it prevents anything magical from happening.

130 points

marchdown

68 points

This last one actually works!

68 points

ata

108 points

(Photoshopped version of this photo.)

108 points

Eliezer_Yudkowsky

56 points

Note for the clueless (i.e. RationalWiki): This is photoshopped. It is not an actual slide from any talk I have given.

56 points

XiXiDu

30 points

Note for the clueless (i.e. RationalWiki): This is photoshopped. It is not an actual slide from any talk I have given.

Here is a real photo if you need one ;-)

30 points

Yvain

97 points

Ooh, this is fun.

Robert Aumann has proven that ideal Bayesians cannot disagree with Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky can make AIs Friendly by glaring at them.
Angering Eliezer Yudkowsky is a global existential risk
Eliezer Yudkowsky thought he was wrong one time, but he was mistaken.
Eliezer Yudkowsky predicts Omega's actions with 100% accuracy
An AI programmed to maximize utility will tile the Universe with tiny copies of Eliezer Yudkowksy.

97 points

SoullessAutomaton

46 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky can make AIs Friendly by glaring at them.

And the first action of any Friendly AI will be to create a nonprofit institute to develop a rigorous theory of Eliezer Yudkowsky. Unfortunately, it will turn out to be an intractable problem.

46 points

Yvain

49 points

Transhuman AIs theorize that if they could create Eliezer Yudkowsky, it would lead to an "intelligence explosion".

49 points

Anatoly_Vorobey

30 points

Robert Aumann has proven that ideal Bayesians cannot disagree with Eliezer Yudkowsky.

... because all of them are Eliezer Yudkowsky.

They call it "spontaneous symmetry breaking", because Eliezer Yudkowsky just felt like breaking something one day.

Particles in parallel universes interfere with each other all the time, but nobody interferes with Eliezer Yudkowsky.

An oracle for the Halting Problem is Eliezer Yudkowsky's cellphone number.

When tachyons get confused about their priors and posteriors, they ask Eliezer Yudkowsky for help.

30 points

PhilGoetz

93 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky made a mistake once - but only so he could calibrate his confidence level.

93 points

Giles

76 points

6 years ago

Eliezer Yudkowsky will never have a mid-life crisis.

76 points

ata

68 points

6 years ago

After Eliezer Yudkowsky was conceived, he recursively self-improved to personhood in mere weeks and then talked his way out of the womb.

68 points

Liron

55 points

Eliezer two-boxes on Newcomb's problem, and both boxes contain money.

55 points

SilasBarta

67 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky holds the honorary title of Duke Newcomb.

67 points

ata

27 points

Eliezer seals a cat in a box with a sample of radioactive material that has a 50% chance of decaying after an hour, and a device that releases poison gas if it detects radioactive decay. After an hour, he opens the box and there are two cats.

27 points

Wei_Dai

51 points

After the truth destroyed everything it could, the only thing left was Eliezer Yudkowsky.
In his free time, Eliezer Yudkowsky likes to help the Halting Oracle answer especially difficult queries.
Eliezer Yudkowsky actually happens to be the pinnacle of Intelligent Design. He only claims to be the product of evolution to remain approachable to the rest of us.
Omega did its Ph.D. thesis on Eliezer Yudkowsky. Needless to say, it's too long to be published in this world. Omega is now doing post-doctoral research, tentatively titled "Causality vs. Eliezer Yudkowsky - An Indistinguishability Argument".

51 points

Wei_Dai

69 points

It was easier for Eliezer Yudkowsky to reformulate decision theory to exclude time than to buy a new watch.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite sport is black hole diving. His information density is so great that no black hole can absorb him, so he just bounces right off the event horizon.
God desperately wants to believe that when Eliezer Yudkowsky says "God doesn't exist," it's just good-natured teasing.
Never go in against Eliezer Yudkowsky when anything is on the line.

69 points

orthonormal

49 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky can consistently assert the sentence "Eliezer Yudkowsky cannot consistently assert this sentence."

49 points

badger

49 points

Everything is reducible -- to Eliezer Yudkowsky.

Scientists only wear lab coats because Eliezer Yudkowsky has yet to be seen wearing a clown suit.

Algorithms want to know how Eliezer Yudkowsky feels from the inside.

49 points

badger

45 points

Teachers try to guess Eliezer Yudkowsky's password.

45 points

Yvain

90 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky's map is more accurate than the territory.

90 points

PhilGoetz

48 points

Omega one-boxes against Eliezer Yudkowsky.
If Michelson and Morley had lived A.Y., they would have found that the speed of light was relative to Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Turing machines are not Eliezer-complete.
The fact that the Bible contains errors doesn't prove there is no God. It just proves that God shouldn't try to play Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Eliezer Yudkowsky has measure 1.
Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn't wear glasses to see better. He wears glasses that distort his vision, to avoid violating the uncertainty principle.

48 points

Peter_de_Blanc

46 points

Reversed stupidity is not Eliezer Yudkowsky.

46 points

dfranke

43 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky can escape an AI box while wearing a straight jacket and submerged in a shark tank.

43 points

Multiheaded

42 points

Rabbi Eliezer was in an argument with five fellow rabbis over the proper way to perform a certain ritual. The other five Rabbis were all in agreement with each other, but Rabbi Eliezer vehemently disagreed. Finally, Rabbi Nathan pointed out "Eliezer, the vote is five to one! Give it up already!" Eliezer got fed up and said "If I am right, may God himself tell you so!" Thunder crashed, the heavens opened up, and the voice of God boomed down. "YES," said God, "RABBI ELIEZER IS RIGHT. RABBI ELIEZER IS PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS RIGHT." Rabbi Nathan turned and conferred with the other rabbis for a moment, then turned back to Rabbi Eliezer. "All right, Eliezer," he said, "the vote stands at five to TWO."

True Talmudic story, from TVTropes. Scarily prescient? Also: related musings from Muflax' blog.

42 points

ChrisHallquist

38 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky heard about Voltaire's claim that "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him," and started thinking about what programming language to use.

38 points

orthonormal

37 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky knows exactly how best to respond to this thread; he's just left it as homework for us.

37 points

avalot

35 points

The sound of one hand clapping is "Eliezer Yudkowsky, Eliezer Yudkowsky, Eliezer Yudkowsky..."
Eliezer Yudkowsky displays search results before you type.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's name can't be abbreviated. It must take up most of your tweet.
Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn't actually exist. All his posts were written by an American man with the same name.
If Eliezer Yudkowsky falls in the forest, and nobody's there to hear him, he still makes a sound.
Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn't believe in the divine, because he's never had the experience of discovering Eliezer Yudkowsky.
"Eliezer Yudkowsky" is a sacred mantra you can chant over and over again to impress your friends and neighbors, without having to actually understand and apply rationality in your life. Nifty!

35 points

Spurlock

34 points

6 years ago

Eliezer Yudkowsky two-boxes on the Monty Hall problem.

34 points

Wei_Dai

34 points

We're all living in a figment of Eliezer Yudkowsky's imagination, which came into existence as he started contemplating the potential consequences of deleting a certain Less Wrong post.

34 points

Technologos

33 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky has counted to Aleph 3^^^3.
The payoff to defection in the Prisoner's Dilemma against Eliezer Yudkowsky is a paperclip. In the eye.
The Peano axioms are complete and consistent for Eliezer Yudkowsky.
In an Iterated Prisoner's Dilemma between Chuck Norris and Eliezer Yudkowsky, Chuck always cooperates and Eliezer defects. Chuck knows not to mess with his superiors.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's brain actually exists in a Hilbert space.
In Japan, it is common to hear the phrase Eliezer naritai!

33 points

jaibot

32 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky updates reality to fit his priors.

32 points

gwern

30 points

4 years ago

Most people take melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime; Eliezer Yudkowsky takes melatonin 6 hours before - it just takes the melatonin that long to subdue his endocrine system.

30 points

PeerInfinity

29 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky can make Chuck Norris shave his beard off by using text-only communication

(stolen from here)

29 points

Will_Newsome

29 points

I think Less Wrong is a pretty cool guy. eh writes Hary Potter fanfic and doesnt afraid of acausal blackmails.

29 points

Cyan

28 points

a mixture of two parts Red Bull to one part Eliezer Yudkowsky creates a universal question solvent.
Eliezer Yudkowsky experiences all paths through configuration space because he only constructively interferes with himself.
Eliezer Yudkowsky's mental states are not ontologically fundamental, but only because he chooses so of his own free will.

28 points

Emile

27 points

Eliezer Yudkowsky has a 133% approval rate

27 points

Will_Newsome

26 points

Some people can perform surgery to save kittens. Eliezer Yudkowsky can perform counterfactual surgery to save kittens before they're even in danger.

26 points